Trying to have a life together
by Loz06
Summary: Neil.Andrea. Sequel to 'Life under pressure'. Andrea looks for something she and Neil can share as a couple while Bruce continues to place pressure on her sending Andrea to Neil for comfort.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Trying to have a life together

**Author**: Loz

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil/Andrea…All Neil/Andrea

**Series**: Story number fourteen. What follows are titles and story ID numbers:

(1) After he's at her door – 2486705

(2) When the mighty fall – 2506192

(3) While his wife's away – 2525486

(4) While they're away – 2543010

(5) When love's not working – 2543013

(6) Boundaries when broken up - 2562611

(7) What happens on the train – 2579012

(8) When they work together – 2595808

(9) When she wants him back – 2598312

(10) When they're stuck together – 2611364

(11) When they're back together – 2619492

(12) Life almost in balance – 2630121

(13) Life under pressure – 2666280

(14) Trying to have a life together - 2699235

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive **(if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net.

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.

**Summary**: Andrea looks for something she and Neil can share as a couple while Bruce continues to place pressure on her sending Andrea to Neil for comfort.

**Authors' notes**: OMG I'm back online. FINALLY! Can't believe how much I've missed having internet access and now I have broadband, no more waiting and waiting and waiting with dial-up. Yay! Anyway going to post as fast as my hands can type. Thanks everyone for hanging in there the last few months, hang on I can hear an echo out there, maybe there's no one left.

**Thanks**: So many cheers and big thanks for Lornz, Fabio, Gem6, madz87, Storm Wolf 3000, aerialplug and Chelsee6 for leaving a review and anyone else who read the last part and loved it or hated it!

**Disclaimers**: Status quo. I haven't been running madly around buying up The Bill while I've been gone. Still not mine.

* * *

Their coats are taken at the front and they follow the waiter through the tables that are arranged in a horseshoe fashion around a small dance floor – the band is just instruments for the moment. Their table is small but intimate; a dull light above them provides less light than the candle that flickers in front of them. The waiter pushes Andrea's chair in once she's sitting down and Neil orders wine.

"I hope white is alright?" Neil says getting the conversation going.

"Fine," Andrea says softly glancing at the wooden dance floor.

"So policing, was it your first choice?" Neil smiles knowing its information they've already exchanged, the game continues. It isn't lost on Andrea that she's lied in her answer to this question.

"It was." She notices the wine approach.

"And for you?"

"Never wanted to do anything else," he watches as their glasses are filled. "What do you like about it?"

"Helping people, the people you work with, the status that comes from the job, the flexibility of hours and holidays." Andrea thanks the waiter once her glass is full. "What about you?"

"The same," Neil says picking up his glass. There's no toast, just a chinking of glasses but they both know their relationship is the subject of the toast.

"So how long have you been in London?"

Andrea folds the napkin that rested on her lap during the meal and places it next to her plate. For the moment she's alone, Neil having excused himself to the men's, she smiles and thanks the waiter as he clears their plates. Their conversation had steered itself from known information eventually and Andrea had enjoyed the fast service and quite nature of the space. Although the restaurant is full it is though each table has an invisible sound proof barrier.

The band had appeared during dessert, their soft cabaret notes sliding down just as easily as her strawberries. Andrea watches four couples on the floor dancing, each moving to their own beat despite there being only one song.

"Dance with me?" She turns to see Neil with his hand out, ready to lead her to the floor. She doesn't need to think about it.

They fall with ease into the waltz hold, Andrea looks out to where their hands are clasped realising this is the first time they've touched tonight and she's missed it. They don't even get through the first song before they've blocked out the rest of the world, her hand resting on his heart, his over it and their other arms across each others back.

"This was a great idea." She falls out of character and feels him smile against her cheek, pressing the briefest of kisses against it.

"We never have gone out on a proper date." She loses count of the number of songs they remain like this for, stepping to their own beat in their own little space on the floor.

Only when her feet protest stronger does she reluctantly pull away from him. "Don't go away." She whispers noticing for the first time the dance floor has filled.

Andrea realises her feet from the strappy shoes and places them under her chair, across the room she sees their waiter smile. Neil stands the odd one out on the dance floor smiling as well.

"Don't suddenly develop two left feet." She says standing on her toes to kiss him. Secure back in his arms again, this time she rests her head where his collar meets his neck – she could stay there forever concentrating on his arms around her, she doesn't even notice the floor underneath her bare feet. Only when he asks her does she want to go that she moves.

Neil pulls her closer with an arm around her shoulder once they're outside trying to chase away the cold. He opens the car door for her, closing it once her coat is tucked out of the way. He finds her hand in the darkness as they head back to her flat.

At the door Andrea fumbles for her keys looking at her shoes. "I had a really lovely time tonight."

"So did I, maybe we could do it again sometime." Their game is back on.

"Would you like to come in for coffee?" Andrea purposely rushes the words past her lips as though she's nervous about asking him inside. Her heart sinks as he starts laughing like her words were the joke of the day.

"I hope that's a euphemism for something because I've had my share of bad coffee this week." The game is off and Andrea pushes him into the wall, where he lands with a thump, the second assault comes from her lips – this one he doesn't mind so much. She kisses him hard almost as if there's something to prove, he matches her, not concerned about the public nature of the stairwell, she releases him to catch her breath.

"Do you think I'm willing to be awake for half the night because of some lousy coffee?" Andrea says against his lips.

"I can't stay all night." She expected this, it's Saturday and his family are home. It doesn't stop her increasing the intensity of the kiss.

"We're wasting time."

* * *

The shower running wakes her, struggling she lifts her head to look at the clock, ten to two, she doesn't need to pat the other side of the bed. Weak and unstable on her feet she pushes open the shower door. His hair isn't wet and she hates that, it means he's washing away any trace of her and wet hair would raise questions when he gets home.

"Your pick up lines need some work." She lets the door close and rubs her eyes still fused together with sleep.

"They worked on you." There's a laugh in his voice and the water shuts off. Andrea holds a towel out for him, avoiding her reflection in the mirror. "I've never needed a line." He steps out with the towel wrapped lightly around his waist.

"That's fairly arrogant." She yawns.

"Not what I meant, I've been lucky." He smoothes some of her hair down and kisses her forehead. "You should go back to bed, I'll come and kiss you goodbye."

She's asleep by the time he leaves.

* * *

It's his left leg that wakes him, not Philippa shaking his shoulders or calling his name. The left leg that is tucked under his right on the chair is asleep, numb, circulation has been restricted. He winces with the pins and needle feeling that invades the leg as he moves it. It turns almost painful as he walks delicately; trying to stimulate circulation, in front of him Philippa switches off the TV and picks up the glass with a fine film of whiskey in the bottom.

As the life blood drains back into his leg, the million pins stop poking into his skin and his brain focuses on more pressing matters. He knows he can't keep doing this, using the same excuse – coming home from 'work', turning on the TV to 'relax' and ending up falling asleep. It won't be long before Philippa becomes suspicious, he might think he has every intention of coming to bed but deep down he knows the reason he can't climb into his marital bed after being with Andrea is guilt. He takes small comfort knowing he is a one woman man after all, he knows the women in his life will take none.

"What time did you get in?" He notices for the first time what she's wearing; clearly she's not spending the day at home.

"Just after two." He rubs his face awake knowing it's not a total lie.

"I need you to pick up Colin from the McPhee's." Philippa says as she takes the glass into the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" He asks though he already knows the answer.

"I have work that needs to be done for court on Monday." Her voice is normal as though she doesn't expect the fight she's about to get.

"This is ridiculous." Neil vents his anger and frustration. They've had this conversation before and she seems to be impervious to his requests to slow up on the work.

"No, it's unfair that's what it is, I didn't comment when you worked all yesterday and last night, I was here and now I need to work."

"You didn't have Saturday off, your office…our office is stacked with work, and did you do anything with Colin?" His tone is accusing.

"He was at the McPhee's." Philippa refuses to be drawn in, keeping her tone even.

"Right, he probably doesn't remember what you look like; there was a stranger in the house." He's not proud of himself but he can't help the sarcasm.

"That's the pot calling the kettle black; you did sixty five hours this week." The last comment has Philippa to rising to defend herself. In truth about twenty of those were spent with Andrea.

"Who's counting, you did eighty and I was here three out of five days when Colin got home from school and a half a day both Saturday and Sunday." It had been a good week for his relationship with Colin, they had time alone and Neil felt he was chipping away at the remaining barriers his son had erected. They'd eaten out, talked but for Neil the breakthrough would come with an invitation to his sons football match.

"Well I'm so happy you can pass on some of your load to the people under you but I have people relying on me. Sometimes it's the difference between freedom and punishment." Philippa busies herself unstacking the dishwasher but Neil knows it's just a tactic so she doesn't have to look at him.

"You think the MET doesn't like my department to solve crimes? If for no one else than the victims, I've got to report, analyse, justify and explain and we rely on you too, your family."

"What do you rely on me for Neil? You can't even come to bed of a night. Can't bring yourself to lie next to me." Finally she scores a point and Neil is punched with her words and his guilt.

"Colin is going to be gone soon and he won't come back at this rate." Neil tries to drive his guilt back onto Philippa.

"I can't do this now; this work has to be done." Her voice drops to sound distracted. Neil follows her as she gathers her keys and work from the table.

"We're doing it now! We're in the middle of it. When Philippa? Pencil me in some time please."

"Don't get all high and mighty father-of-the-year with me Neil. You're just as much to blame as I am." Her words drip with venom as though she can't stand the sight of him.

"Who is he?" As soon as the words escape his mouth Neil regrets it. Bringing up the subject only puts the spotlight on him.

"I won't dignify that." Fittingly the door slams behind her.

After she's gone he asks himself why he pushes the issue, other than for Colin's sake. He's not so stupid to realise Philippa's hours allow him the flexibility to see Andrea without having to come up with a new excuse each time he comes home.

He questions whether his pushing is because her hours are a wedge that would come between them and be used as a catalyst for divorce, keeping his affair out of it.

He wants to throw Colin's words, about it better with them apart, at her as an I-told-you-so. Neil knows it wouldn't help and the last thing he really wants to do is use his son as a pawn in his fight with Philippa.

Checking his wallet for cash, he decides to do something with Colin tonight instead of letting them retire to their respective corners when he gets home.

* * *

Andrea's phone snaps shut after she finishes the call, smiling she strides confidently into CID much too pleased with herself to let anyone or anything bring her down, that is till she raises her arm to knock on his office door.

She doesn't see Jack Meadows going almost toe to toe with Neil as she cruised through the outer offices. She backs off but not before she captures Neil's attention, part of her supposes he was looking for any means of escape from the argument.

That less than a second she held his attention distracts the DCI who casts angry eyes over Andrea.

"We'll discuss it later." He paces past Andrea, a tiny 'sir' escapes her mouth but it's lost in the anger that radiates from him.

Neil looks up from the top of his desk; not disguising how glad he is to see her, she closes the door carefully behind her and turns to find him almost on top of her. He kisses her softly and sweetly, stepping her against the door, his thumbs stroking her cheeks, his other fingers behind her ears. Andrea does the same noticing he looks tired.

"Let's run away." For a moment she's concerned because there's more than an ounce of seriousness in his voice.

"Bad day?"

"Meadows."

"Enough said." Andrea sighs looking at him like a mother would to say 'what am I going to do with you?'

He kisses her one last time and reluctantly sits back in his chair knowing too long behind the door will arouse suspicion.

"What are you doing Sunday?" The brilliant smile returns as she settles in the guest seat.

Intrigued he smiles and says, "nothing."

"Dress neat casual, collared shirt and long pants, my place at six am." It's all the detail she's willing to give.

"Six am!"

"Well maybe you could stay Saturday night?" He smiles for a moment only to have it fade.

"I promised Colin we'd go out after his game – it's a night match." There's disappointment in his voice but Andrea would never dare ask him to give it up. Nor can she stop him as he fills her in on the progress he's perceived he's made with Colin.

"I'm glad things are better." She smiles genuinely, leaning forward for a moment to cover his hand with her in a show of support.

"You could pick me up at mine." It's not the first time he's broached such an idea and sometimes she has similar fantasies. "Six am."

A part of her would rather sit and watch him work, but she loves her job and pushes herself out of the chair, not noticing him before he stops her from opening the door.

"You're so good to me." His arms slip easily around her.

"It's because I love you." She kisses him quickly and disappears behind the office door.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

"Perfect." Andrea says opening her door right on six to find Neil in a collared knit shirt, light long pants and sports shoes.

"Thank you." He says dropping his forehead to rest on her shoulder, arms slack around her waist. He mock snores and Andrea erupts into laughter. "I hope you're taking me some place with a big, warm, comfortable bed. Sleep-world, slumber-land, planet siesta."

"Don't have to go anywhere for that." Andrea says softly, tilting his head in her hands and kissing him thoroughly awake. Neil smiles sleepily at her as she brushes her index and middle fingers down his temple noticing the dark circles under his eyes. "Ooh did you and Colin stay out until the wee hours?"

"I forgot I'm not sixteen anymore. It was a cruel way for me to realise." He drops his head against her shoulder again but only momentarily. "I wish you could meet him."

"One day maybe," Andrea replies holding his face willing away the sadness in his eyes. For a minute she allows herself the recognition that she's important to him if he wants her to meet his son. Before she turns to mush she gets her stuff and they're out the door.

"Where are we going?" Neil asks his eyes closed and head back against the top of the seat.

"It's a surprise." Andrea won't budge. The city is quiet and the streets fast, most people still curled up in bed where she suspects Neil would rather be.

"Did you drink last night?" Andrea glances over at Neil briefly to see him shake his head. "So you're just sleep deprived."

"Grossly," Andrea smiles knowing some of the lethargy in his voice is an act.

"So how come you're never this tired when you've been up all night with me?" Neil's eyes snap open, a strange smile spreading across his face.

"Is there anyway I can answer that question without offending you?"

"You'll just have to take your chances with my wrath." Andrea slows for a pointless red light at an empty intersection.

"With all due respect…"

"I like this already." Andrea laughs cutting him off.

"You're not sixteen anymore." He stops her arm as it goes to hit him, appeasing her although she's not angry, by taking her hand. "Thank goodness because I'd never have met you. Also you've never seen me at about three to four the next afternoon."

"Good answer." She squeezes his hand and accelerates with the green light.

"I don't think I've seen you in shorts and a polo shirt before."

"Don't change the topic." Andrea teases. "Getting any ideas?"

"No, I'm too busy fighting off sleep."

"No I meant about where we're going."

"So did I." Andrea lets him close his eyes again, loving the way his face looks when he's relaxed.

"Golf," he says as they pull up at their destination, eyes still closed.

"How did you..?" She hits him lightly on the thigh, annoyed he guessed.

"Ungodly hour, dress code," Neil opens his eyes to find Andrea shaking her head in amazement.

"Let's go." She opens her door still shaking her head.

"I've never understood this game, hit a little white ball and follow it around a huge backyard." Andrea says watching Neil tee off, she loses the ball against the overcast sky. Neil follows it until it hits the ground.

"You, you don't understand this game, you were born in Scotland, Dalkeith Scotland, St Andrews in Scotland is the home of golf." He reminds her.

"I wasn't popped out swinging a club." Andrea says eliciting a laugh from him as he pictures her words.

"Come here."

"What?" She steps over to him none the less.

"I'll teach you." He presses himself against her back, his hands over hers on the club demonstrating how to swing the club and turn her body. "Ready?"

Neil swings with her and Andrea bends over in a fit of laughter as the ball rolls along the ground, the only thing that flies into the air is the tee and a clump of grass. The club slips out of her hand as the tears roll from her eyes; she holds her stomach as it starts to hurt.

"Don't worry I just missed out on the golf gene." Andrea manages to calm herself as Neil replaces the grass with his foot.

"I thought it might have passed through the foetus." Neil picks up the club.

"Not in my case."

"I think you bent it." Neil slides the club back into the bag and sets off Andrea's laughter again.

At the tee off at the eighth hole Neil asks. "Why did you do this?"

"Are you mad?" Andrea puts down the golf bag; the purpose of today was for her to be his caddy. She hadn't forgotten what he'd said when they were away for the extended weekend.

"No, not at all." Neil pushes in the tee, balancing the ball on top.

"It gets you away from work, marriage, everything. Hopefully you're not thinking about anything either. It's a hobby, it's what you do to relax and you need to do it more often. I also thought it was something we could do together, something we can share, and something that's ours."

"It was a great idea." Neil leans on the club moving in to kiss her. His lips are tender and kiss soft and brief, leaning back after each one to watch her and convey how grateful he is. "We should make it a regular thing, I'll teach you to play." Neil grins cheekily running a finger quickly down the bridge of her nose.

"I'm unteachable." Andrea smiles happily and affectionately. As she watches him tee off, she wonders how she got so lucky.

"Are you still keen to get away?" Neil asks as they walk the sixteenth hole, chasing his ball that's landed on the green.

"In your words let's run away." Andrea's eyes scan the green spotting the ball a short distance from the hole.

"I can take some time off in a couple of months." Neil searches the bag for a putter.

"A couple of months." Andrea sighs putting the bag down.

"I haven't got any time owing." Neil looks across the green with her.

"How will you sneak away?" She drags her eyes back to the side of his face.

"I'll think of something." Neil smiles reassuringly at her before walking over to make his shot. "Where do you want to go?" He shows off not watching where he's putting, the ball misses its mark.

"I'm counting that stroke." She laughs watching as he finally sinks the putt. "I don't care where we go." Her laugh fades as her mobile fires up from inside her pocket. Bruce's number flashes across the screen when she reaches for the phone in her pocket; she ignores it and puts it back where it came from.

"Are you going to get that?" Neil asks putting the club back in the bag with the ball.

"I don't recognise the number." Andrea takes the bag from him as they head back to the clubhouse to return their hired gear. In her pocket Andrea turns the phone off before Bruce tries again.

* * *

"I was thinking the beach." Neil tells her as they pull into her street. 

"Shit!" Andrea curses spotting Bruce's car parked out the front of her block of flats.

"Andrea?" His voice is immediately woven with concern.

"That's Yvonne's car…the blue one." Andrea lies. "It must have been her who called before; she must have a new number." Andrea can feel the panic filling her veins.

"What do you want to do?" Neil slows the car as Andrea prays Bruce doesn't walk back to his car which is parked in front of the blue one.

"Keep driving." Andrea urges him and indicates to a free space around the corner. "I'll go in and get rid of her; can you fill in ten minutes?" She looks sympathetically at him, when he agrees he's rewarded with a sweet kiss. "I'll ring you if I need longer." Andrea feels bad as she watches him drive away.

"Get out of here." She hisses finding Bruce sitting on the top step near her door. The smirk on his face boils the anger inside of her.

"Don't answer my calls and this is what's going to happen." He sounds entirely too confidant.

"Go." Andrea makes no attempt to hide the desperation in her voice.

"Where is he? Circling the block?" There's not even the slightest chance she's going to confirm that. "When then?" He doesn't move.

"Tomorrow lunch time." Andrea spits out finally, aware it is during her shift.

"See you then." He smiles, turning her stomach. She stops him from leaving the building till she's sure Neil is not in the street anywhere.

"He must be a keeper." She hates how the words echo Neil's. Back upstairs she leaves the front door open and collapses onto her bed.

"Andrea?" She doesn't return his call, waiting until he finds her.

"I hate lying." There's enough emotion in her voice to have him wrap himself around her and hold her. He knows she's talking about lying to her friends about her relationship with him but Andrea's talking about lying to him.

* * *

"Hey!" Neil calls after Andrea from the top of the ramp the next day; she has a tiny window for refs she's chosen to use to appease Bruce. "Come and see me later." Andrea nods in reply, grateful he hasn't seemed to have noticed she's rushing out of the station alone. Running out of the lot she finds her car that's parked a street away, she guns the engine towards the park they're meeting at. 

Bruce is the only one occupying the park bench, Andrea want to blow the meeting off, put her car in gear and go but she knows the repercussions will be twice as bad. Quick and painless she tells herself pulling a plain jacket over her uniform; the grass is covered with leaves that signal her arrival.

"For a moment I didn't think you'd come." Neither clap eyes on one another.

"I considered it." Andrea takes pleasure in telling him.

"I couldn't turn anything up on Lance Powell." He places the folder Andrea photocopied next to her, it will be shredded.

"That's because there is nothing." Almost immediately Bruce cuts in.

"I've just found out Yvonne Hemmingway is Acting Sergeant." Andrea tenses and feels her stomach fall.

"Yvonne's my friend." Her voice falters.

"None of them are your friend." His words bite.

"I rely on these people everyday; my life is placed in their hands and theirs in mine and sometimes at the end of the day you need to unwind together, so yes she is my friend." Andrea adds conviction to her words.

"The top ranks of Sun Hill are looking a little thin with minority groups these days; surely there are officers with more experience who could be Acting Sergeant." A part of Andrea thinks maybe he's found his story after so many miss hits.

"I'll be in touch." Andrea walks slowly away knowing she has to pull it together before she gets back to the station. Her new assignment comes close to home and three blocks from her destination she cries some tears for the journalism job she can't see a way out of without losing the two precious things in her life – Neil and her Sun Hill job.

For the rest of the day Andrea can't rid the uneasiness and remains quiet as the group of uniformed officers see each other to their cars. She forgets Neil wanted to see her till she sees him parked behind her car across the street.

"Hey I left my phone in my locker." She says to no one in particular.

"You o.k.?" Yvonne stops with Andrea as the rest of the group walk on.

"Yeah." She puts a smile on her face. "Lets have a talk sometime soon." Andrea adds after a minute.

"You're not being hassled again are you?"

"No." Andrea laughs gratefully. "I've got to go back, see you tomorrow." She ducks back around the corner slinking into a dark spot at the front of the station. In the quiet of the night she counts six cars start and disappear down the street before she resumes the short walk to her car. She checks once more before crossing the street and sliding into his car.

Andrea finds his lips in the dull light, kissing him hungrily, he responds and soon hands and arms are everywhere, lips travelling across ears and necks. Andrea takes the tempo down, pulling them cheek to cheek while she catches her breath.

"If I keep going I was going to be pulling you into the back." She kisses him once more and then pulls herself back into her seat properly.

"What are you doing Saturday?"

"Whatever you are." Andrea turns sideways in the black leather seat.

"Ten o'clock, wear clothes that can be ruined. Thrown away at the end of the day if need be."

"I don't get to see you before then?" She's not proud but there's a pout in her voice.

"My car's pointed in the same direction as yours isn't it?"

"So you could have told me when we got home." It doesn't escape her notice that 'we' and 'home' fall into the same sentence.

"The point was I wanted to see you today." Her mood falls again as she reminds herself of the day. "Hey." His fingers rest on her cheek. "Did something happen today, you look like you're carrying a burden." Andrea knows the turmoil inside has seeped out.

"I'll see you at home." Her reassuring smile is unconvincing but she escapes before he can protest.

In bed that night she's needy for his touch, to ease the pain of the day.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

"So talk." It happens fast, the question flows as Yvonne puts her tray down. Andrea knows she should have sat with Tony if she didn't want to have this conversation, she also knows it had to happen soon and she'll have to think on her feet.

"You can't tell anyone; this includes people like me who you don't include under the banner of everyone." For once Yvonne grasps the severity of the situation though she'll never be privy to the real reason for the conversation.

"I heard someone say…" The pause isn't for effect. "It was a female officer in the loos, I don't know who, they said the only reason you were Acting Sergeant was because of your skin colour."

Andrea's a little taken aback when Yvonne laughs out loud, so much so that other PC's begin to stare.

"They think…?" She laughs as she takes a sip of her tea, coughing it down.

"They couldn't get anyone from another station, no one else here wanted the job, and I was the only one who wanted it so I got it."

"I'm glad." On the inside Andrea only feels a little better; it will be harder to convince Bruce of the truth.

* * *

Andrea's self consciousness blows out as she opens her door Saturday only to have Neil laugh at her overalls. 

"How did you know we were painting?" He kisses her cheek as Andrea looks down at her paint splattered clothes.

"I hope painting is a euphemism for paintball." She watches him head into the kitchen as she pushes the front door closed.

"Nope just painting," Neil flicks on the kettle and reaches for the coffee.

"Make yourself at home." Andrea teases, the truth is she loves that he's so at home in her flat.

"I practically live here." He says pushing her hair behind her ears. "Have you seen how much of my stuff is here?"

"I know and they say women have a lot of clothes and shoes." She jokes and he roars with laughter. Something in her lurches when he stops and turns serious.

"You make me so happy." Neil says each word slowly and quietly, placing emphasis and Andrea thinks she might cry. For a moment she bathes in his words and then mouths 'me too'. For a minute they look across the room at one another.

"You're still a rat, I caddy for you for eighteen holes and you repay me by dragging me to paint your office in CID."

"Bring the peeled grapes and massage oil." He repeats her earlier words. "I've ordered some palm fans." Andrea grabs him around the waist but he fights her off managing to hold her in his embrace. "It's close to my office; it's the flat, just one wall."

"With the garden?" Andrea asks running her hands through the short hair on the back of his head. "Yes, we're not painting the garden you understand?" Andrea digs her hand gently into his side.

"It's still work." She says hearing the automatic kettle switch off.

"Think Mary Poppins." Neil says filling his cup.

"Somehow I don't think supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is going to get me out of this."

"No but in every job there is to be done, there's an element of fun." Her face looks shocked at the fact he knows the words by heart, but there's something endearing about it and a connection to Colin's childhood.

"If the job were a snap we could be doing other things." She raises an eyebrow and steps into him taking a mouthful of coffee from his cup.

"It'll be more fun with you there, so how did you know we were painting?" Andrea screws up her face, he likes his coffee stronger than her.

"Didn't, I wore these when I renovated this flat; they're the only thing I own I was willing to sacrifice if necessary."

"What'd you do?" Neil asks leaning against the counter and pulling her into him, her back resting on his front.

"Painted, had a new kitchen put in, new carpet put in, I didn't like what was here."

"So why'd you pick this flat?" His chin rests on the top of her head.

"I didn't, my dad came down and bought it, he took out a loan and I figured I owed him to stay and my rent pays the loan. I had some money saved so I changed a few things."

"Well you didn't earn the money caddying at St Andrews." It earns him a playful dig in the ribs and Andrea knows the truth the money came from her internship at the women's magazine in Scotland.

"Come on; let's go before I change my mind."

* * *

Andrea has never seen the block from the street, inside serves only to take her breath away. 

"It's beautiful." The bedrooms look down over the gardens and the front is filled with warm light. "How much does it go for?"

"More than you earn in a week." Neil says matter-of-factly.

"You don't need to worry, I could live with myself even less if I was living in a flat you owned and carrying on an affair with you."

"Do you still have nightmares?" Worried he joins her at a back bedroom window.

"Sometimes, I just won't let myself forget…" She can't finish the rest.

"I'm going to change." It's something neither of them wants to touch. Andrea looks down on the chair she sat alone and with Neil at, at the front window she watches a man in a suit talking on his mobile phone.

"Philippa's at work but she knows I'm here, I didn't see the point of lying if I didn't have to." Andrea turns noticing he's changed into paint splatter clothes. "She won't come around but there's a fire escape door at the side." Andrea doesn't want to run any possible scenarios through her head.

"Do you use this place as where you are when you're with me?" For some reason she thinks she'll be hurt if he says yes.

"No, it's too easy to check up on me here." Neil sounds equally as uncomfortable.

"Why are we painting?" She purposely picks up the enthusiasm in her voice.

"It could use a bit of freshening up, it's an old flat and there are plenty of bumps and accidents recorded on these walls. I've been doing a bit each week for a while now, this is the last one left to do." Neil nods across at the living rooms most expansive wall.

They work in silence, Andrea watching the pattern the roller leaves on the wall. Her mood is no longer light like it was in her kitchen. She looks over at Neil who paints with a hand brush into the corners; she wonders what moments these walls have seen, only to be silenced by the paint she applies.

"When's your birthday?"

"A month from today," Andrea answers like it's just another question, paying it almost no attention. "When's yours?"

"It was a month before we got together." She assumes he means the first time in her flat.

"How long have we been doing this?" Andrea does the calculations herself.

"Nine months give or take."

"And we've never asked each other when our birthday's are." There's genuine surprise in his voice and Andrea puts the paint roller down.

"I suppose because they haven't come up." She pauses. "I've seen you…"

"Every second night, sometimes more," its Neil's turn to put his brush down. Andrea looks lost, uneasy, troubled but most of all sad. "Andrea?"

She sways involuntarily, eyes glazing over with tears. "I love you and I know that seems unfair to you right now."

"It's not that." She puts her hand on the wall to steady herself not noticing the wet paint it collects. In the generous living room she feels as though the walls are closing in.

"Tell me." A caring palm holds her cheek, Neil looks almost scared.

"I can't." Before she dissolves into tears he lifts her into his arms, not worrying about the hand print she leaves on his back as she holds him tighter than she has before.

"I knew something was up." Neil says over her shoulder, she's grateful he knows her so well.

"Thank you." She manages but he's not letting go.

"I know you can't talk to me right now and I know it's got to do with the fact I'm with Philippa still, but it won't always be this way, this…we're serious and I love you." In his arms Bruce feels continents away, as she kisses him Philippa fades from memory, although he's reluctant at first they shed clothing and push the protective coverings off the large sofa, the mess that is her life ceases to exist.

Andrea's thankful Neil says nothing as she stares at the foot of the sofa her head resting on his chest. His hand is sprayed across her back under the sheet they lie tangled in on the floor; it had come from a perfectly good unused bed in the next room. The floor became the better option when they got tired of contorting their limbs. The trade off was the carpet burn on her shoulder.

"Let me in." Neil presses his lips to the top of Andrea's head; she can hear how hopeless he feels.

"I want to." It's as honest as she can be but she knows it's no comfort.

"Are you in trouble or danger? Is it work related? Family? Friends? The Carter case is coming up are you being blackmailed? Do you need money?" Each time he throws up an option, Andrea shakes her head, her hair brushing against his shoulder.

"Is there someone else?" Andrea's head snaps up instantly, mouth a wide 'O', eyes frightened he believes his words. It's not a look that says 'I'd never cheat on you', incredulous at the suggestion, after all she's involved in an affair – she's no moral saint. Rather 'you mean too much to me to have that happen.'

"Just you…being here with me helps." Her eyes say let the conversation lie but there's more. "Promise you won't ever leave me."

"What would make you think I'd do that?" Neil sighs rolling them onto their sides so he can pull her in close. Andrea knows it's a promise he'll find he won't be able to keep.

"Where'd the furniture come from?" Andrea could feel herself dozing off bathed in the late morning sun. She grabs at the pillow his head has been resting on, trying to get her head more.

"I hire it when there are potential tenants being show through." Neil lifts his head to give her more of the pillow but Andrea pushes herself up till they're face to face.

"I can see your hand." Neil points to the outline on the wall.

"We should finish."

"No rush, I'd rather watch you than paint dry." He breaks into a smile as Andrea manages a small one.

* * *

Andrea doesn't muck around when she hears the knock on her flat door the following Wednesday. She needs to convince Bruce she's on his level with this information. She manages a polite hello knowing he'll make himself at home without her offering. 

"This is a turn up for the books, you calling me."

"There's nothing to Yvonne's promotion." Andrea launches in straight away, explaining the circumstances.

Bruce laughs rudely and loudly. "I thought it was Acting Sergeant Hemmingway and you expect me to believe that?"

It's just as Andrea feared. "I spoke directly to Yvonne; I have no reason to lie to you."

"Other than to protect your friend," Bruce uses his fingers to indicate quotation marks around the word friend.

"And if I lie to you, you blow my cover." Andrea can feel her nerves building. She watches him think, crossing everything she has.

"I'm going to run with it." Andrea instantly feels sick in the pit of her stomach.

"Unsourced, you'll put the spotlight on me." Andrea tries not to let him see she's panicking. "I spoke to Yvonne directly, I said there was a rumour, she'll start asking questions."

"So?" Bruce has all the concern for her as if she were a raggedy doll that could be thrown aside, discarded when children didn't play with it anymore.

"Why don't you believe me? This job is all paperwork and bossing people who once considered you a friend."

"I don't believe you because you've been…evasive." He picks his words. "Lately."

Determined not to have Bruce end things for her so soon she hangs on, only to be distracted by her home phone. Andrea ignores it her mind moving almost faster than she can keep up, she holds his eyes.

"Are you going to get that?" Reluctantly Andrea picks up the phone.

"Hey, it's me." A distraction a good one but she can't let herself weaken because of him in front of Bruce.

"Can I call you back?" Andrea keeps her voice even and toneless, giving away no clues about what's going on. Truth is she sitting on the edge of a building with Bruce behind her, she's either going to be pushed or pulled back to safety.

"He's a cop isn't he?" Bruce says once she's hung up.

"It's none of your business who it was." Andrea sees the opportunity to gain back some ground. "It's also the reason I've been evasive."

Bruce smiles, he's too smart to believe her lies.

"What are you going to tell him? You playing cop isn't a permanent thing." It hits her right in her current vulnerability – her lies. It doesn't help that he looks at her with pity like a child who's never had parental guidance and has just ruined their life.

"That's my problem." Andrea loosens the reins and admits to the relationship without giving details, maybe finally answering him and being honest will appease him.

"Keep digging." Bruce says standing up. "I want to know PC Hemmingway like I know PC's Powell and Kapoor."

Bruce sees himself out and Andrea stays where she is breathing away the panic, she knows he's just given her another life. When the feeling's passed she reaches for the phone knowing his voice will put her back on kilter.

"It's me." Andrea says after he says his name quite business like.

"Can you hang on a minute?" From the tone of his voice she knows he's not alone. In the background he compliments someone's work and asks them to close the door behind them.

"Hi." He sighs happily; she knows right now he's smiling.

"Hi." Andrea echoes. "Sorry about before, I was about to get into the shower," already she can feel Bruce's visit slipping away.

"It's alright for some, wish I could have been there."

"I take it you're alone now." Andrea laughs.

"What's happening?"

"Philippa's here for tea, we're comparing notes." Although she keeps her voice light he doesn't laugh.

"Don't even joke about that," she's just glad he's not mad, a smile in his voice. "You sound happier."

"Yeah, sorry about the joke."

"See you tonight?" The words from the back of his throat make her melt.

"Now…" She whispers and there's a silence before he asks.

"Want some news?"

"Always."

"Brian Carter sacked his legal team today." For a moment Andrea digests his words.

"He's scheduled to be in court Monday." Andrea replies almost not believing.

"I know…" Neil lets the words hang.

"He'll be looking for a shark of a lawyer." Andrea assumes. "But when did he come into the money to hire someone other than his court appointed representation?"

"Stay tuned," is the only answer Neil has. "Wanna hear a lawyer joke?"

"O.k."

"Why don't sharks bite lawyers?"

"Why?"

"Professional courtesy."

Andrea giggles but she isn't sure what to make of the joke given Philippa's occupation.

"Come home now." She asks softly and on the other end Neil seriously considers it.

"Tonight," Neil reminds her before putting the phone down.

* * *

To be continued in the next story. Story ID - 2704730 


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